Thursday, October 11, 2012

Some nights...

Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck, some nights I call it a draw. – fun.

My wife always describes me as a heavy sleeper. She’s probably right, but I wouldn’t really know, because I’m asleep during the times that I would be able to evaluate my sleep characteristics. One thing I do know, for those of us who have been accused of imitating a log while sleeping, having an infant, baby, toddler (whatever) can produce some fun nighttime adventures and mishaps.

For example, we have, for reasons that are not completely clear to me...I feel like I missed out on that decision, positioned the output portion of the baby monitor on the bedside table right next to my ear. This by no means should suggest that I always hear the baby when he starts crying, but I think my responsiveness is improving. However, one night/early morning recently when the “I’m awake” cries starting echoing in my subconscious, I found myself reaching for the monitor in an ultimately futile attempt to locate and activate the snooze button. Despite being in just a slightly better than log-like condition, I do remember that hitting snooze was my intention. Sadly, this effort went on for several minutes longer than I would like to admit. It did get me thinking, do these monitors have snooze buttons? And if not, why not? I’m thinking you should be able to set the snooze duration to something like mildly neglectful, moderately neglectful, or Octo-Mom. Anyone out there with connections in the baby monitor industry…make this happen.

Of course, rousing myself and getting out of bed is only half the battle. On one particularly up and down night, I managed to entrap myself in the maze of doors that is our bathroom and closet junction. This one is a bit difficult to explain without knowing our apartment geography, but my theory is that I thought I was sleeping on the couch, which would involve a left turn after getting up and a straight shot to Jacob’s bedroom door. Unfortunately, I was actually in bed, and the left turn resulted in a head on collision with the delightfully overlapping doors in the corner of our room. As with the monitor, I groped futilely for the missing bedroom door handle for several minutes longer than I care to admit. I can only imagine it looked a little like this...


Michelle said to me in the morning, “I was wondering what you were doing over there in the corner.” Thanks babe!

I tell you, some nights…