My
wife always describes me as a heavy sleeper. She’s probably right, but I
wouldn’t really know, because I’m asleep during the times that I would be able
to evaluate my sleep characteristics. One thing I do know, for those of us who have
been accused of imitating a log while sleeping, having an infant, baby, toddler
(whatever) can produce some fun nighttime adventures and mishaps.
For
example, we have, for reasons that are not completely clear to me...I feel like I missed out on that decision, positioned the output portion of the
baby monitor on the bedside table right next to my ear. This by no means should
suggest that I always hear the baby when he starts crying, but I think my
responsiveness is improving. However, one night/early morning recently when the
“I’m awake” cries starting echoing in my subconscious, I found myself reaching
for the monitor in an ultimately futile attempt to locate and activate the
snooze button. Despite being in just a slightly better than log-like condition,
I do remember that hitting snooze was my intention. Sadly, this effort
went on for several minutes longer than I would like to admit. It did get me
thinking, do these monitors have snooze buttons? And if not, why not? I’m
thinking you should be able to set the snooze duration to something like mildly
neglectful, moderately neglectful, or Octo-Mom. Anyone out there with
connections in the baby monitor industry…make this happen.
Of
course, rousing myself and getting out of bed is only half the battle. On one
particularly up and down night, I managed to entrap myself in the maze of doors
that is our bathroom and closet junction. This one is a bit difficult to
explain without knowing our apartment geography, but my theory is that I thought
I was sleeping on the couch, which would involve a left turn after getting up
and a straight shot to Jacob’s bedroom door. Unfortunately, I was actually in bed,
and the left turn resulted in a head on collision with the delightfully
overlapping doors in the corner of our room. As with the monitor, I groped futilely for the
missing bedroom door handle for several minutes longer than I care to admit. I
can only imagine it looked a little like this...
Michelle said to me in the
morning, “I was wondering what you were doing over there in the corner.” Thanks
babe!
I
tell you, some nights…
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