Before we get started, let me take this opportunity to confirm that yes, this is yet another post about Sofia the First, which is a children’s TV show on the Disney Channel. Just in case the title wasn’t sufficiently self-explanatory. So, if this is not your cup of tea or you feel like it’s beneath you or whatever, feel free to check out now.

Dear Sofia, I’m Really Disappointed

I don’t know about you, but there are few things I love more than Sofia the First. 

Sometimes we’ll be watching an old episode and my four-year-old will lose interest. He’ll start jumping off the couch or whatever. Even worse, sometimes he wants me to do something else with him before the episode is over. He’ll be all like, “Daddy, Daddy! Let’s pretend you think I’m in the TV.” Meanwhile, I’m like, “Dude, chill. We can pretend you’re trapped inside the TV for the two thousandth time today in a few minutes. Right now I need to find out if Sofia and her pathetic horse Minimus are going to overcome incredibly long odds––like the Sixers wining the NBA championship type of odds­­­­––to win this flying horse derby thing and in the process if that little jerk Prince Hugo is going to get his comeuppance.” 

So, you can only imagine that I was pretty pumped to learn that I could write a letter to Sofia and get a personal response in the mail. Wait, I mean my four-year-old could write a letter to Sofia. It’s called Dear Sofia and I learned about it on Disney Junior, obviously. 

Nothing Gets Me Pumped Like a Good Haircut

Nothing quite compares to that moment when my haircut is just complete and my classic 2-3-4-5 clipper guard smooth fade has achieved that unparalleled state of perfection. There I am, standing in front of my bathroom mirror, electric clippers in hand, tiny pieces of hair sticking to my shoulders, tufts of curly hair littering the bathroom floor, and I’m like, “Andrew, you did it again. Nailed it.” 

A fresh haircut gets me so pumped. 

Imagination Games

I got caught up in one of Jacob’s imagination games the other day. This happens at some point every day, but this one was particularly informative. The game this time was jail. I’m not sure where he learned about the concept of jail, but since 90% of his knowledge is derived from Disney Jr. shows, it’s a relatively safe bet it came from somewhere on there. That being said, my money is on Sheriff Callie.

Dispelling the Mystery: A Running Diary

Because there seems to be a fair amount of confusion about what two small children and a father could possibly do all day without a mother around, I wanted to take this opportunity to offer a peak behind the curtain at our typical day. Full disclosure: In true reality TV fashion, some of the events portrayed here may have been compiled from several days to produce a smoother and more enthralling narrative, a very small portion may have been exaggerated, and an even smaller portion may have been totally made up. But, I promise, at least 87% of what follows is true and accurate.