TV and Growing Up

The boys and I were on one of our trademark car rides the other day when a vivid memory popped into Jacob’s 3-year-old brain and he had to get it out. 

An Imaginary Visit from Pa-Pa

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it on here before or not, but those days when Mommy is working (from 6:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m.) and the boys and I are home by ourselves all day can feel really long. Of course, I’m sure they feel really long for Mommy as well, but it’s perhaps a different kind of long. An apples to oranges comparison, one might say.

Arts and Crafts

If there is one thing stay-at-home dads (SAHDs)* are most known for above all else it is definitely Arts and Crafts.

Let us loose with some card stock, glitter, glue, and markers and we can create some real magic. I’m not sure what kind of magic all you guys like to make, but in my family, we like to channel this artsy craftiness toward a very specific purpose: the creation of celebratory door signs to greet visiting friends and family members. Well, mainly family members, but I won’t foreclose the possibility of friends one day.

Masculinity and Lawnmowers FTW: Another Important Update

Lawnmower (Getty Images)

To get up to speed on what this is all about, see the first two installments of what has turned into a summer-long blockbuster: Part 1 and Part 2.

The proposed lawnmower repair instructional YouTube video continues as follows:

Target: The Experience

The Promised Land (Getty Images)

So, I saw this video on my Facebook a few weeks ago called “Thoughts Every Woman Has in Target.” It was nothing short of a revelation. 

One of the greatest unresolved mysteries in my life had been my wife Michelle’s relationship with Target. What was it about that store? I just didn’t get it. Sure, it has lots of different stuff to buy and it’s kind of a more sophisticated version of Wal-Mart and there is sometimes a Starbucks in it, but why is it the second greatest love of her life (or more realistically, perhaps, the first greatest love…but let’s remain optimistic). 

Link-apalooza #11: On Spirit Animals

Horses (by Getty Images)

The other day I was listening to a podcast and, for some reason, I started thinking about Spirit Animals. I have no idea why, really. I mean, I’m pretty okay with animals; I generally like them and all. Yes, the more I think about it, I would definitely classify myself as pro-animal. And as far as spirits go, I’m pretty ambivalent. I have never taken a strong stance for or against. But, I can’t put my finger on why this particular podcast brought the Spirit Animal concept to mind. It’s not something I often think about. However, it just jumped right into my brain, like Bennett diving headlong into any full-size human he comes across who happens to be seated in an accessible position. I looked away for a second, and boom, there it was.

Masculinity and Lawnmowers FTW: An Important Update

If you missed the first segment in what has unfortunately become an ongoing series, get up to speed here before reading any further.

The proposed lawnmower repair instructional YouTube video continues as follows: 

19. After several weeks have passed and you’ve already returned your brother’s lawnmower after borrowing and using it to save yourself and your family from the ever-encroaching tangle of weeds and exotic grasses that once was your yard, but had morphed into a thriving, highly-threatening, and frankly, terrifying tropical ecosystem, go back to Lowe’s and buy a rotary, push lawnmower that you believe is appropriate for your level of mechanical prowess and is also sufficiently hipster and eco-friendly (pictured below). (Read here for more on my new-found commitment to a hipster lifestyle.)

My Baby

20. Following the directions in the operator’s manual, assemble the lawnmower handle and attach it to the mower part thing (like a boss). 

21. After a few failed push attempts, realize that you have attached the handle backwards. De-attach the handle from the mower part thing, turn it around, and re-attach it in the correct orientation (like a boss). 

22. Try, without success, to attach the final two little ring clip things that the operator’s manual says just snap in. Give up and decide that they are probably not that important anyway. 

23. Invigorated with a spirit of hopefulness and a burgeoning joie de vivre, start mowing your lawn.

24. During the 5-hour lawn mowing period, in which you push and cajole your new mower in every conceivable pattern over, around, and through your front lawn (jungle) until your legs are covered with unidentifiable little green sticker things and the sweat on your t-shirt and shorts has filed for its own Social Security number, slowly come to the demoralizing realization that rotary push mowers are likely most effective when your lawn has the consistency and character of a croquet lawn or Augusta National ‘second cut,’ rather than an Amazon rain forest. 

25. Dejectedly wheel your sad, yet still gleaming, mower back into the garage. Go inside and Google “machetes for lawn,” because that seems like the logical next step. 

26. To be continued…

Green Day and Mumford & Sons…as Heard By My 3-Year-Old

Jacob (the 3-year-old) reached a very important developmental milestone recently: He started paying at least a small bit of attention to the songs playing on our car stereo system. I was happy at first, because I am more than ready to share my impeccable musical taste with my offspring. However, I was also a bit sad (isn’t that always how it is?) because it marked the end of the obliviousness era. Alas, my favorite 2 Live Crew CD and Tupac’s incomparable “Hit ‘Em Up” single must now be consigned to my handy Discman that I use when I’m working out. The kids are officially paying attention and impressionable.

Link-apalooza #10: The Dog Rescuer

I don’t know how this keeps happening, but these posts seem to keep getting farther apart. I’m just soooo busy, I tell you! This week I got sidetracked by rescuing a dog. No big deal. It’s kind of what I’m known for, as some of my most loyal readers (Mom) might remember.

This time around, the boys and I had just left my parents house when we passed a pickup truck going the other direction. When we were about even with the truck I noticed a small dog was attempting to throw himself out of the truck bed. I looked in the side mirror after we passed by and yes, confirmed, there it was: a dachshund toppling comically over the edge of the truck, flailing and flipping on its back as it fell to the road. The dog was clearly a bit stunned and took a second to gather himself before stumbling to his feet and hobbling to the sidewalk. I’m not sure, but I think he glanced around to make sure no one had seen his remarkably ungraceful tumble. The truck didn’t stop and continued to the very end of the dead-end street before turning into a driveway. I stopped the car, backed up, and got out. It was time for me to shine.

In case you were wondering, this is what a dachshund looks like. To be clear, this is not an actual picture of my dachshund, but rather, a dachshund file photo. But, how adorable is it that he's drinking out of a coffee cup?!? (Getty Images)

Imagination Games

I got caught up in one of Jacob’s imagination games the other day. This happens at some point every day, but this one was particularly informative. The game this time was jail. I’m not sure where he learned about the concept of jail, but since 90% of his knowledge is derived from Disney Jr. shows, it’s a relatively safe bet it came from somewhere on there. That being said, my money is on Sheriff Callie.

How to Potty Train Your Three-and-Two-Thirds-Year-Old in 21 Easy Steps

Oh man, potty training! Am I right?!?

Just the thought of the dreaded P word (poop, pee, potty…take your pick) is enough to send parental stress levels soaring. At least that’s how parents of toddlers used to feel. Have no fear, though, those worries are a thing of the past. I’ve got you covered. Here’s an absolutely fool-proof method for potty training your three-and-two-thirds-year-old in a maximum of two days. 

Masculinity and Lawnmowers FTW

Lawnmower (Getty Images)

Sorry folks, no links this week. Try to contain your disappointment and somehow soldier on. I’ve been really busy, so I’ve literally read basically nothing. Except this one book I’ve been trying out. Sigh, books are so difficult and long.

Link-apalooza #9: Aww, Darn It!

We were riding home in the car the other night and out of the blue Jacob (the 3-year-old) said from the back seat, “Aww, darn it!” It caught Michelle and me completely by surprise, so, of course, we both laughed a little. Huge mistake. Sufficiently emboldened, he went on to repeat his new phrase 57 times in a row. We completely ignored him and didn’t react in any way to the subsequent 56 repeats, but he still kept it up. 57 times. With the same little laugh after each iteration. 

Someone Is Watching

File Photo

Some days, when you’re a parent, you find yourself carrying a stick, chasing a crying 3-year-old down the street. There’s no getting around it; it’s just one of those things that happens.

Link-apalooza #8: Just Getting By

Can you really call it a palooza if there is only one link? Think that’s a gray area, but I’m going to go with yes. To be fair, it is quite a long link and one long article was about all I had time for: these photos sum up our week...

Leave Me Alone

Sure, why not?

Actually, I may or may not have even read the whole thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love The Atlantic, but do people really read articles longer than 800 words anymore? I didn’t do a word count on this one, but all of their articles feel like they are about 50,000 words.

Anyway, now that I’ve sufficiently stoked your interest, here it is…

Women’s World Cup: How U.S. Players Balance Motherhood and Soccer

I like this one for two reasons: it’s quite topical (Go USA!) and it provides a new perspective on the work-life balance theme I’ve been exploring lately. Over three years into this parenting deal I’m still completely confused how people have careers and kids. Like, really? How does that work? And, after this last week of solo parenting, I have absolutely no clue how single parents do it. I actually forgot I had a job. And that was in one week. So, how do professional soccer moms manage? Read this to get a glimpse.

Watching Airplanes

“Hurry, Daddy! Mommy’s plane is going to leave in five minutes!” my 3-year-old, Jacob, was just a bit excited about the unexpected variation in his typical morning routine. We had just dropped Mommy off at the terminal and were driving to the cell phone lot to watch her plane take off. Luckily, despite Jacob’s concerns, the airport gods were smiling on us and we made it just in the nick of time.

Not Mommy's airplane in the background; Jacob looking on

Link-apalooza #7: Of Presidents, Bloggers, and Dads

It’s time for Lucky Number 7, people!

First, a couple quick notes about goings on in and around Explorations. The whole crew took yet another road trip to North Carolina this past weekend: Drove up Thursday, hung out Friday, attended three family events on Saturday, and drove back Sunday. I feel like it went pretty well. Probably will never do it again, but all in all, can’t complain. 

5 Boring Things Parents Love

As I was waking up in the hospital after my recent colonoscopy, one of the first things I heard was a man in the recovery bay next to mine telling his wife how incredible he felt. “I haven’t felt this great in ten years,” he said. “Can I just stay here forever?” I didn’t ask, but I’m almost certain he was a dad because I could totally relate. Sure, maybe it was mostly the lingering haze of anesthesia talking, but the sentiment was real: never had a routine medical procedure felt so freeing. Of course, leave it to his wife to bring a heavy dose of buzz kill to the situation. “No,” she laughed. “You have to mow the lawn today.”

Still, it did get me thinking, what kinds of boring and routine things do parents love, perhaps more than they should? I’m not saying parents love these things more than their own children, but sometimes it might be up for debate.

Link-apalooza #6

OK, I’m back. I’m not entirely sure, but it feels like I missed a week. Yeah, I could look at literally the webpage I just clicked off of to check the date of my last post to see exactly how long it’s been, but where’s the fun in that? Don’t worry though: I double-checked and no one has written anything worth reading or broadcasted anything worth listening to since we were last together.

Link-apalooza #5

Welcome back, peeps! It’s time to do this thing again. This is the fifth edition already: Can you believe it? Yes, I am still maintaining this charade.

Anyway, let’s keep it short and sweet this time around. I’ve got one article and two podcast links to share; I really enjoyed all of them. I know that no one really likes reading anymore, it’s so 20th century, so I’m trying to include as much audio as possible. Also, in case you missed it, here is a link to my article from last week that hopefully you read here, but was also picked up by Huffington. Green Day and parenting; it doesn’t get much better than that.

Let there be links!