Money Store Man

Sometimes it seems like yesterday that I was a young(ish) lad, energized by idealism, prowling the cobble-stoned streets of Cambridge in my vegan loafers. Of course, it wasn’t yesterday; it was almost four years ago. And to be totally honest, most of the time it feels like if it was 100 years ago or that perhaps it never even happened at all. 

Update and A Few Links

Hello everyone, it's been awhile. I haven't posted much lately, and frankly, I don't really have much in the pipeline right now. I've been busy writing and submitting some pieces to outside outlets, so, fingers crossed I'll have some news to share soon. Worst-case scenario, I'll have a couple new pieces to post here that no one else wants. Try to contain your excitement.

However, to try to fill the gap a little, and because I don't really know what you all do to fill your time when I'm not around, here are a couple articles written by others that I think are worth reading.

1.  “What a horrible mother:” How a call from a “good samaritan” derailed these mothers’ lives

I always find it interesting to read perspectives I hadn't really thought about before. This is definitely one of those.

2.  I Want to Have a Baby -- Cue the Friend Fallout

Good writer; like her stuff. Another interesting perspective and another one I hadn't thought much about. I guess not having friends has its advantages.

3.  Why it's not easy to be a dad in a mom's world

Can you say right in my lane? Kind of wish I'd written it, well, I kind of already did, but still. Good piece. I do think we have to be careful, as men, about playing the woe is me card; I mean, how many advantages do males really need? However, I think this writer does a nice job of walking the tightrope.

Have a good week!

P.S. This week's nugget of wisdom courtesy of Jacob: "You can ride horses, cows, and zebras...but not tigers or lions." Keep that in mind, people.

Hopeless Wanderers

But hold me fast,

Hold me fast,
'Cause I'm a hopeless wanderer

The last several weekends, usually early on Sunday mornings after another harrowing night starring a restless just-turned-1-year-old, I roll out of bed, load the big guy into his car seat, and set out for a driving tour of central Florida to give Mommy an hour or two of rest. I once looked upon this as a bit of a chore, preferable to trying to keep the baby quiet in the house, but still nothing to look forward to. This past Sunday though, it felt different.

#BigBen Strikes One

Forgot the hashtag, but you get the idea

Few things in life are quite as ridiculous as birthday parties for 1-year-olds. Think about it. Besides weddings, where else is a central protagonist of a celebratory event more irrelevant or overlooked? Nowhere. Grooms and 1-year-olds, that’s the list.

For Any Podcast Fans Out There...

Podcasts are kind of my new thing. Actually, my not so new thing. My passion for them is starting to recede already (after discovering them maybe 6 months ago). Anyway, maybe I'll talk about that more later, but wanted to share one I listened to today in case anyone is interested. It's the most recent episode from The Longest Shortest Time by WNYC. The topic, of course, is gender roles, parenting, and traditional role reversals: My all-time favorite topic. Check it out; it is very well done and thoughtful.

Hitting the Snooze Button on #BigBen

In honor of B’s birthday week, welcome to another installment of our new favorite series: Things B Does That Annoy Us. Just kidding! It’s definitely nothing personal; any parents out there who have had a difficult sleeper will understand the struggle. For those of you who don’t have or have never had a B, go back to watching The Bachelor on TV while eating bon-bons or whatever it is you do at night.

You wish

Despite the challenges, I should add (for my Mom’s sake), that B is very cute and snuggly and has such a great personality for a soon-to-be 1-year-old. Just not necessarily at night.

My true aims here are threefold:

1.     Provide a step-by-step guide for the overnight babysitters that I expect will begin to queue up as soon as this goes live.
2.     Create a written record of this experience for future reference (i.e., something I can email myself monthly in case I ever get any ideas about future procreation).
3.     Provide an alternative to the crazy idea of “sleep training” that seems to be gaining momentum. My way is clearly better.

And off we go…

March Madness

Some days this whole parenting thing really sneaks up on you. It’s like routine, routine, routine, then suddenly, boom: Butterfly visit!

#BigBenRising

With our little guy’s first birthday fast approaching, I figured it was about time to shout him out on the old blog. Being the younger sibling can be hard; it’s definitely difficult to claim your fair share of the spotlight when your older brother often writes, directs, and stars in the screenplay that is our life. 

"I mean seriously, in the post supposedly about me, you couldn't find a picture without the other kid in it to use?" - #BigBen

It's Comedy and Tragedy

Every good story is built around a perfect mix of comedy and tragedy. Similarly, every day of parenting has an often not so perfect mix of the same two ingredients. The days the scale tips in favor of comedy are the great ones. And when it goes the other way, well, let’s just say that’s when you’ll find me pounding the pavement at 10 p.m. Or pounding something at least.

6 Pointless Things I Say to My 3-Year-Old

Trying to reason with a 3-year-old is roughly the equivalent of simultaneously having a root canal while repeatedly banging one’s head against the wall.

Me: “It’s time to get dressed.”

3yo: “Nooo! I don’t want to get dressed. Right now!”

Me: “But you have to get dressed so you can play outside.”

3yo: “I don’t want to play outside!”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine then.”

3yo: “I want to play outside, now!”

Me: “Okay, let’s get dressed.”

3yo: “I can’t!”

And repeat, ad infinitum. For 12 hours. Please give me the number for the nearest head banging root canal procedure location, right now!

Dispelling the Mystery: A Running Diary

Because there seems to be a fair amount of confusion about what two small children and a father could possibly do all day without a mother around, I wanted to take this opportunity to offer a peak behind the curtain at our typical day. Full disclosure: In true reality TV fashion, some of the events portrayed here may have been compiled from several days to produce a smoother and more enthralling narrative, a very small portion may have been exaggerated, and an even smaller portion may have been totally made up. But, I promise, at least 87% of what follows is true and accurate.

A Tribute to a Person I Didn't Know

This is a very sad piece of news I came across yesterday. A very well-known (in parent blogging circles) and trailblazing Dad blogger, Oren Miller, recently passed away at a very young age. You can read about his life and accomplishments here. I was not familiar with his writing before I read of his passing, but as I've written before, I'm woefully ignorant about many things in the wider parenting world. His writing is really excellent though and I encourage you all to take a look at his blog linked in the article above. Life can be, just, well, plain absurd sometimes.....

Exploring Ambiguity on the Airwaves

This humble blogger made his radio debut today, discussing my recent post about 'letting go' and other parenting matters, on The Matt Townsend Show on the BYU radio network.  Here is the link to the show archive and the podcast version can also be found on iTunes. I haven't listened to it myself, but I've been told it wasn't a complete train wreck. So, we'll call that a win.

Shock and Awww!

ORLANDO – More often than not, real life stories don’t come neatly packaged with storybook endings. A moment’s hesitation can undo hours of preparation. In the blink of an eye, all can be lost. This afternoon at CFE Arena on the campus of the University of Central Florida, #BigBen went toe-to-toe with reality, and reality won out, in stunning fashion.

#BigBen was all smiles, until he wasn't (Photo credit: Brandon Helwig, UCFSports.com)

Parenting 101: Learning to Let Go

I made a monumental rookie mistake the other night. I attempted to fold laundry with the kids around. More than three years into the parenting game, I should have known better. That’s pretty much the equivalent of Russell Wilson throwing an interception on the goal line in the waning seconds of the Super Bowl. You just can’t have mental lapses like that.

The All-Time Most Unorginal Thought About Parenting

It finally happened last week. I finally had that moment of clarity and inspiration that wannabe writers dream about. That game-changing idea that no one has ever had before. I was so excited; this was it!

For parents, time feels like it passes incredibly slowly and quickly…at the same time.

I know, right? I can feel the reverberations from your collective minds being blown.

4 Reasons Stay-at-Home Dads are At a Disadvantage

Have you noticed how much more enlightened classic kids’ songs like Wheels on the Bus have become?  Here’s an excerpt from a version I heard recently.

“The mommies on the bus say, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ The daddies on the bus say, ‘I love you too.’ All through the town.” 

Letter to My Future Self

Dear 20-Years-From-Now Me,

I hope this letter finds you well. My apologies for the boring opening; I don’t write a lot of letters, particularly letters to myself.

Running on Fumes

What’s the most natural thing to do when you have a new baby in the house that never sleeps and a toddler entering the troublesome threes? Run a half-marathon of course!

On Narcissism and Social Media

While I’ve been off the blogging grid for over a year now (can hardly believe it’s been that long), I have managed to maintain a sufficiently narcissistic presence on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram (my newest addition). If anyone out there follows me on any of those platforms, and if you do I sincerely apologize retrospectively and in advance, I’m sure you have noticed my periodic offerings, thinly veiled attempts to boost my ego and feelings of self-importance. Of course, I am by no means alone in my online narcissism and I do believe mine maintains at least a semblance of modesty compared to some others (you know who you are three times a day selfie, inspirational quote and current events opinion posters). I try to stick to posting family pictures on FB and typically mundane things on Twitter about my favorite sports teams, etc.

On its face, such routine social media sharing seems harmless, right? But when I think about why I do any of it in the first place, it does give me pause. If I’m being honest, how many likes or comments my pictures and posts get can positively or negatively affect my mood at least in a small way. Why is that? Why should I care if a relatively random smattering of acquaintances and near strangers enjoy what I have to share? And going a step further, why should people I don’t know very well care what I have to say or what my kids look like? Realistically, the only people that should care are people I’m close enough with that I could say it to them face-to-face or share a picture through email or text message. Despite understanding this reality on an intellectual level, I still feel compelled to put things out there to the more general public. Why? The only plausible answer is that the feedback I receive makes me feel relevant. And I’m guessing the same applies to most social networkers…not just me. We have a need to believe people care what we do or think. Such reinforcement offers us a feeling of permanence in our transient existence.

Let me give you an example of how silly this really all is. I’ve recently fallen back into obsessive sports fanhood after my year abroad and related misadventures in pseudo-intellectualism (if you want to read some cringe-worthy narcissism…check out my posts from a couple years back chronicling that time period…freaking ridiculous). I always come back to sports though…I mean, you’ve got to have something to fill the time, right? Anyway, I increasingly find myself itching to respond to stimulating arguments on Twitter about who is better, Player A from XYZ University or Player B from LMNOP College. It’s clearly very important stuff. No wonder I can’t help myself. Of course, every time I wade into such arguments with internet strangers it turns out the same way. I get that butterflies in the stomach feeling I always get when conflict is afoot and I write a stupid, pseudo-intellectual blog post about my experience that attempts to reach far-flung conclusions about the human experience. What purpose does that serve exactly? To my credit, I have maintained enough discipline to avoid online political arguments in the past several years. Those are even more self-indulgent than sports arguments. Of course, by maintaining discipline I mean hiding any and all conservative Facebook friends from my timeline and not following a single conservative on Twitter. Curiously, however, in light of all the contortions I go through to maintain my social network sanity…I haven’t gone so far as to remove myself from these platforms all together. Interesting.  I feel like my good friend narcissism might have something to do with that (well, that and a spoonful of boredom).

Anyway, enough of all this soul searching, I just put this delightful picture up on Instagram (complete with 27 hashtags). Gotta find out how many likes it’s gotten in the past 13 minutes….

(Wait, on a scale of 1 to Paris Hilton, how narcissistic is writing a blog post about narcissism that’s title starts with the word ‘On’? Man, I really can’t wait to see how many page views I get after posting this!)