I often get asked my most dreaded question by relative strangers, new contacts, and acquaintances…so what do you do for living? Because our society tends to define your worth to the human race based on how you answer, this is not a question to be taken lightly.
Now, for people with easily identifiable jobs such as nurses, doctors, lawyers, policemen, teachers, taxi drivers, and what have you, this question is relatively easy…just naming the job is good enough. It’s not too difficult to picture what a person in one of these professions would do at work on a given day. You might not know all the details and specifics, but you can at least formulate a decent image in your head. For example, I’ve never been to my wife’s workplace (she’s a labor and delivery nurse), but I have a decent idea of what she does…though I try not to picture it in very great detail.
However, for people like me with highly nebulous jobs (and I actually think there are a large number of us out there…those of us in positions that aren’t strictly necessary), the “what do you do?” question is more problematic. To keep things simple and avoid any protracted discussions or more probing questions, I usually stick with “technical writer” to describe my current job. Of course, that’s not at all true…technical writers generally write instruction manuals, software guides, and such…but at least it’s something most people have at least heard of. Plus, I’ve found it’s a substantially boring reply as to stifle any further questions.
So, how would I describe what it is I do? It’s hard to say. The job title (Research Manager) certainly doesn’t work because I don’t manage anything and I don’t really do research in the scientific sense of the word. In fact, probably the coolest thing about my job is its uniqueness, as I would wager to say I might be the only “whatever it is I do” in the world. Not even my hero, the great Ryan Seacreast can say that! I guess the best way to describe my job is by showing you an article I was involved in writing. Of course, I wouldn’t advise that you read it unless you’ve run out of Ambien or something. But if you do, take a shot of Natty Light every time you read the word “fission” and drink a pom-grenade (that’s pomegranate juice plus vodka for the newbs out there) if you can find the sentence I try to use in every article I write (something like ”mitochondria are dynamic organelles that undergo regular cycles of fission and fusion”). That should make the experience a bit more bearable. But only a bit.
Anyway, I’m not entirely sure what the point of this post was except to vent some of my professional angst built up over the last 3 years or so. But I do hope you’ll consider the plight of us schmoes (all the analysts, managers, coordinators, and technicians who, but for the inefficiency of our workplaces, would likely be unemployed) caught up in the nether world of ambiguity before you ask the seemingly innocuous “what do you do?” question.
And looking to the future, the number one quest in the next phase of my life is clear…find a less ambiguous job. With this quest in mind, I have chosen to pursue a master’s degree in…development studies. Shoot me now.
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