Workout envy...

I’m sure you’ve heard it said, mainly to ease people’s nerves when starting up at a new gym, that people working out are too busy doing their own thing to waste time judging others. I believe I’ve actually passed this nugget of wisdom along as fact myself. However, recent observations at my local family gym have made me rethink things…


I like to stay physically active (obviously, a body like this takes work), but I redoubled my commitment to regular gym workouts this summer in an attempt to get even more buff. Of course, like any self-respecting man, I spend most of my time in the free weights section. I quickly realized there is a rigid hierarchical structure among gym goers that rivals the India caste system. Free weighters, a relatively small group of guys, are at the top of the pyramid and we look down with disdain at the ninnies that use only machines and treadmills. However, I recently found out that not all free weighters are created equal.

I usually wear my ipod to the gym (so I can rock out to Gaga and Miley while I pump iron), but going without it last week was quite enlightening because it allowed me to pick up some gossip among the free weight regulars...

Apparently, there is one guy known as “decline master” because, I would presume, he is partial to the decline bench press. One of the guys said “he does the same workout every freakin’ time.” Ouch! This particular day also marked the return of this bear of a guy noted for his immense strength. He’s a bit of a god to us all, but like young lions waiting for that first sign of weakness in the pride leader, the regulars reacted with unrestrained glee when he struggled to complete his 315 pound bench set. One guy even quipped, “see that…he goes on a business trip or something and starts getting soft.” I fully expected him to charge across the room and butt heads with the guy…or whatever it is lions to do to challenge each other (my knowledge of lions pretty much begins and ends with the Lion King…but I got trapped in the analogy and felt obligated to see it through).

Anyway, this ipod-free experience made me wonder what I’ve been missing. And, most importantly, do I have a nickname (if so, I’m really hoping it’s “pound for pound”…as in he’s pretty strong pound for pound…and not something like “scrawny dude”, which I fear is probably more likely). But more generally I wonder…if the free weighters are so judgmental, just imagine what’s going on among the ladies of the group fitness room!